Wednesday, May 18, 2016

On showing love

So fertility treatments were rough, but because we did them over and over again I learned what to expect and how to handle the side affects i.e. Naps on the stairs. Pregnancy is a whole new ball game. New being the most important word. I keep trying to make a proactive game plan with how to feel better, and then my body changes the next day. My Mom was telling me a story about a lady who when she had twins she spent all day nursing or pumping and my mom asked her how she was handling such a huge life change and she replied, "This is the best way I can show love for them." 

So that has become my motto as I've swallowed my pride and slept for 12hrs only to wake up for first naps. Because listening to my body is the best way I know how to show love for this baby we worked so hard for. 

On the to-do list for tomorrow: swallow pride that grocery shopping is the worst now and my body doesn't know what it wants to eat ever, but gets nauseous if we aren't eating. Do you think if I Pinterest that some meal ideas will come up? 

I think I've always known it was going to be a battle to get our kids here and that's okay. That's a fight I'll never give up. 

I'll get caught up on blogging about graduating from the fertility center soon, just needed to give myself a pep talk tonight that I'm doing what I'm supposed to. :) 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Dear Baby A,

Dear Baby A,

We've had a tough week haven't we? Mom wrote a letter to Baby B in her journal so this one is for you. I think we're both sad that we're going to have to wait a little longer for your best friend to join us. 

Last Mother's Day was really hard. I felt completely hopeless that we weren't going to figure out how to get you home. This year was bittersweet because Mom was so sad about Baby B, while equally just as happy you're still on your way. Mom prays for you a lot, and often, that you will grow big and strong and keep cooking for a lot longer. 

You and Daddy are the reasons Momma got through today. You are my reason to keep fighting for this dream. 

I've wanted to be a Mom since I was four years old. I even had a Mom birthday party when I turned four. We washed dishes (my favorite!) painted nails, and tended our babies. 

Mom had a realization in college that she needed to change some things in order to be the wife and mother she wanted to be. So she spent a lot of time working really hard to chase her dream of becoming a chef while she waited for the right time for you. (We needed our Daddy Bear!) I truly think that's why Heavenly Father made me as successful as I was as fast as I was. Because it was going to take everything Mom had to get you here safely and that dream of being your Mom was bigger than anything. 

Today to keep my spirits up I reflected on the different things I want you to know and all the wonderful things I hope to teach you. Here is some of my list. You'll have to learn the rest when you get here! 

1. God loves you and we love serving Him. 
2. Mom fought terribly hard to get you here. She will always be in your corner and will never stop fighting for you. 
3. Your Mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. 
4. You make sure your marriage is a priority, and you marry your best friend. You need a strong spouse to carry you when things get hard. 
5. I will most likely be the one to start a water fight and/or get the sillies with you when we're supposed to be serious. 
6. Everyone has something to give and it's really fun to be friends with all sorts of people. 
7. If you're a girl you'll get to learn all about how important eyebrow maintenance and pedicures are. 
8. We work hard so we can play hard. 
9. It's important to get dirty, steal home, and scrape a few knees. 
10. The importance of wrestling and playing with your siblings. 

11. And I hope you learn how fun it is to get so caught up in a project you make a huge mess just because your brain is moving so fast. 

All my love sweet Poppyseed,