Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Because I married my biggest adventure.

This blog is getting a makeover soon, but I need to write before too much more time passes.  If I'm being completely honest I don't handle change very well. (haha) I've just always had a hard time with it. This year has been full of scary, exciting, blissful change.

Before February 13th, I was/had/using etc:

  • Single
  • My last name was McGuire
  • Living in Utah
  • Working 60+ hours a week
  • Buying thermal underwear
  • Living in my Red Brick House
  • Sewing Teepees
  • Retail Therapy-ing my lonely
  • Knew how to get to the Fabric Store
  • Knew my neighbors
  • Blogging regularly
  • Not sleeping
  • Driving my SHBAKES Xterra with my Arizonee plates
  • fairly established.

And then I met the man of my dreams. 

I love Fall, and Winter, and frankly I loathe being hot. Besides, my hair looks like Mufasa when you add some humidity. I mean Woof. 

We got married, went out of the country, and moved cross country within 10days. And I swore up and down I would never live in Utah and then I fell in love with it. And then I said goodbye to it. and I was SAD. I'm not supposed to be SAD leaving Utah. But turns out, Utah has a really special place in my heart. I love my people there. 

and with everything changing I felt like I was saying "Goodbye" to my identity. (And I'm not)

Things are just different. 

And sometimes I turn the A/C up full blast, turn on 5 fans, and wear my fur vest and still be sweating. And this onetime I cried after I picked out the Fall scents for our home and lit the first candle. Secretly praying that the leaves change color soon. 

I've been traveling for work. Back to the mountains of Utah and Colorado. Watching the leaves change, but this doesn't feel like home anymore. Sitting here staring at all this change on paper, it makes things real, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

because I am so madly in love with my husband. 

He's nice to me when I cry over silly things like candles, or freakout over cockroaches. And he tells me I'm beautiful even when I look like Mufasa. 

Being in Utah this week, I've realized this is not my "normal," it will never be my "normal" again. My new "normal" loves being Jessica Nan Daly, and holding Scott's hand at church, and making dinner when my husband comes home from work, and folding his socks. 

And a blazillion things have changed, but I'm still Jess. I don't know why I ever thought she went missing. She's been there all along. 

and today I am especially grateful that during all of this change I have felt peace that we're supposed to be in Texas even if it never snows there. And I'm really looking forward to going home tomorrow and getting picked up from the airport by my husband. He fixes everything. 

Plus he's ridiculously good looking.