Monday, March 21, 2016

Progesterone is the Devil

So they put me on Progesterone after the  IUI to thicken my lining and hopefully help the baby stick. 

I don't know why last time it wasn't this awful, but I have finally found the fertility drug crazy I was trying so hard to avoid. 

I am angry all the time and then I'm crying over the stupid insurance commercial because the kid learned how to ride a bike. 

Like so irrationally angry I've had to catch myself multiple times from comment ranting against stupid activists trying to take Sea World away from me. 

But that's not even the worst part I have these terrifying anxiety inducing dreams. I've woken up screaming, and it's just awful. Sleep was stressful for me before and now it's just the worst. 

I'm grateful to be able to at least realize that I'm not myself because of all of these side affects. Today was a battle. I am trying so hard to feel happy or at least find a plan to survive these. I know how important these are and pray they're doing their job. 

I cleaned house today and spent an hour at the gym. It might be a little miserable right now, but I'm going to put up a fight. 

Please stick baby. Mama's struggling. 


  1. I'm sure sorry that you are having to endure this hard stuff. It is good that you recognize it's not you and not permanent either. I know how it is to hate sleep. I'm with you on that too and I can't blame it on anything but getting old I guess.

  2. I love you. You are amazing. Come on baby!!!!

  3. I'm sorry for the struggles you've been facing. Life is crazy, right? Prayers for strength and success for you and Scott.