This weekend I put myself in survival mode. It has been such a blessing to have more people know we are struggling through this and supporting us. I didn't really know how to process that it didn't work. I sent out two word texts of "No Baby" turned my phone off and cried, and napped, and ate pizza. Church was tough, I half ran between classes to find my seat quickly. I didn't want to rehash it again and again. To the dear sister who sat by me and wanted my pork roast recipe instead of talking about this you were a tender mercy for me. I hustled from Sunday School to sacrament to find Scott as quickly as possible. I just wanted to hold his hand and not be alone. More people knowing truly is a blessing and a strength and a support, I'm afraid I just didn't know how to explain it didn't work and I was heartbroken and still have emotional energy to handle the conversation. But I AM grateful for the support of everyone and the hugs and grace that was shown to me.
Oh I'm butchering this. Still be in my corner, okay?
I have been praying hard for courage, and strength to keep trying. Not only physically but spiritually. For FHE we watched Sis. Neill F. Marriott's talk "It will all work out." And you know what? It filled my bucket right to the brim.
I am so at peace with continuing to fight for this and somehow I have found a happy attitude. I'm not questioning it, I don't want to scare it off.
We went to the Dr. Today and asked all our questions and we feel really good. We love our Dr. And her staff. They take such good care of us. I start the next round of drugs tomorrow and we'll be on track for IUI #2 around March 15th.
Obscure reasons why this month is going to work: it's March Madness, and I love March Madness.
And I'm really grateful for a distraction to make the time move faster. It will all work out.
Sounds like you are a lot like me. I have a hard time giving a short response at times. I am pretty sure most people would accept "it didn't work this time" and hopefully be sensitive enough not to ask for details. I think most women would know. Don't feel like you need to explain to everyone unless, of course, it is good therapy for you. I think that is why I sometimes go into detail because I need to hear me say it. Go March Madness!!!!
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