Surely charting and taking these ovulation tests will help us. Right?
I started crying in Target in December because I was upset that we weren't going to have news to surprise everyone with. I remember trying to figure out how to communicate to Scott that I wanted to look at Christmas jammies for a baby. For OUR baby. It would be better to have a positive test first right? We didn't buy them that night. I cried to Scott saying that even if we didn't have a positive test or a Christmas baby surprise I needed that hope. That shiny happy hope that I saw so many people have.
We bought those Santa Claus newborn jammies two days later.
We were three weeks late that cycle, and found out we weren't pregnant the same night I got to go to the St. George hospital and find out the only thing going on in my body was an ugly infection. We left the hospital at 2am got Taco Bell, Antibiotics and I tried not not to cry as I said, "honey, how does the girl who eats nothing but hot Cheetos get pregnant in high school?"
I am anxious this cycle. Anxious because everything seems to be going exactly right. Maybe with kid #2 I'll laugh at this anxiety. How I really just want to drink my juice and lay in bed so nothing goes wrong. Crazy or not, I'm trying to listen to what my heart needs.
And you know what? Those newborn sized Santa Claus jammies have hung on the chair in our room everyday where we can both see them.
And I am hopeful that we will have a newborn Baby Daly to wear them this Christmas.